Sunday, June 28, 2015

You're Pinking and Smoothing Wrong

You've been doing it wrong. To get rid of the wrinkles, you need to roll them out from the inside!
The same applies to other body parts, especially the face, to which you apply the Hoppe Up Roll and the Flower Face Up Roll. For the legs, there is the Cell Crash Germaroller, the Legline roller and the Bounds roller, which you apply to your, well, I'm not sure. With all of this, you're sure to have smooty skin.
More bad news! You've also not been properly (de)forming your smile shape! I believe that these are spring loaded lip stretchers. If you want one, there's an even better one on Amazon with disturbing pictures here. And don't forget the cellulite squeezer for your butt!
Obviously if we don't squeeze ourselves enough we'll end up looking like Sirotan.
He's pretty cute, actually.
To round out the picture, here is some scalp pasta which has been tested for 100 years at a 9-year-old company.
Since he doesn't have cellulite to roll, Barry stuck to the slipper section, whispering to the plain.
You can also buy diary stickers so as to not strain yourself with pens.
Note that drinking occurs as often as the gym, whereas driving is rare.
I chose mashmallow cream and donut masks to give me a youthful glow.
Grand Finale! Mark has found out something important - these parts are supposed to be pink! This cream tells us so, and uses nanotechnology (sic.) to solve the issue if yours aren't "color soft".
Don't worry, I'm applying it to one of Barry's in his sleep in a single-blind experiment to see if the "nanomolecules" really do help penetrate effectively! I'll let you know if he achieves the desired pink.