Saturday, May 22, 2010

What Sydney Has

Sydney has a few things that Singapore doesn't, such as oceanfront cliffs, cemeteries in prime real-estate, and rebellious cliff families.Also strongly lacking in Singapore are Jewish gay rights protests.
I discovered that Sydney is where bottle scrub brushes grow natively.And vegemite comes free in little packages, which,
if you accidentally roll on top of, look like this on your shirt and bed. (Sorry hotel housekeeping, at least I don't have the bowel problem you thought it was.)And I nearly forgot Hungry Jack's, which is strangely what Burger King's called in Australia. Seriously, the King's a Jack, you heard it hear first.Best of all, Australia has good, cheap wine, a case of which I exported (legally, paid duty, still cheaper and better). Shown here mid-packing process.Like Singapore, Australia has some rules. Though I'm not sure whether Singapore restricts spear fishing.Evidently, the verb "to poo", is not used down under.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Japan in Singapore, Making Delicious Happy Time

Singapore offers us tastes of other Asian cultures. For example, Japanese stores have won us over on sake. We recently bought Japanese playing cards, which are safer due to the warning not to throw them.You can tell something about a culture by what's on its cards. I have a rice & edamame pair! I trump you with my Queen of Scary Knives.Nothing says right bower like a rainbow. (Research has just shown that most readers won't know what a bower is, so substitute card lingo of your regional choice).We also enjoy healthy Japanese food. Barry is shown here eating bacon-wrapped cheese teppanyaki.And here is Barry's favourite Japanese cereal: Criscorn. Bears, Eurasian farmers and tanukis are also big fans.
And no post on Japan would be complete without some Engrish. Happy Birthday, all sweet dreams come true now.
This bag, from the Japanese store, tells us what Koreans think about Romanian wine.And tells us about nature - it gives you relaxation and composure - all this in a $2 bag!
I prefer Japanese products for lapping presents.
Finally, as advised, I've stopped the use with other thing, for now anyway.

Hot Mamas in the Paper

What do you want for mother's day, perhaps a firmer bust? As explained in this newspaper ad, it's "your most important asset as a woman" (sic). Angie's bust looks so great that no one believes she's a mother. One wonders if she asks people this. Probably, as she also had to ask for her husband's support before using the firming gel (um, sic?).
Another heartwarming mother story above: Mother passes down body image issues to daughter, but luckily both lose 8-18cm instantly with 6 in 1 power ozone! Unfortunately said product also evidently promotes monstrous foot growth.
Feel like a piece of poo-ball mascot? Well, even though "D'Tox Juice" can cure all your woes in 2-4 hours, they sell you a 6 day program. Worth it if you get a plush toy of the mascot, whom I couldn't love more.
This one above is scientific: "Nettles rebalances and purifies clogged follicles for healthy scalp"(sic). It's a "Trichologist-validated treatment", which declares in fine print: "There is no scientific proof that any product (except registered medicinal products) or service can retard hair loss or promote hair growth. Your results may vary."
Above, thin oxygen "is suitable for all skin types, attenuate the unsightly comedone eruptions and revive your skin to an essence of life and radiance" (sic again). This might be a good time to highlight that Singapore lacks infomercials.
Breaking News: Bad Hair is Tuesday's top story.
Warning! This one helps sagging buttock (singular), and losing excess fats (plural). Send your weight problem and social security number to "win". Identity theft notwithstanding.
Above, "Hair Care helped me stopped rising hairline and nervous breakdown". Evidently brain damage is a potential side effect.On the positive side of hair loss is Michael Bolton, who can bring back your youth through his concerts, unchanged in 15 years.
Finally from this week's paper is Singapore's love/hate relationship with its 2 new casinos, with anti- and pro- advertisements juxtaposed.