Sunday, November 26, 2017

Flavours of Engrish and French

Engrish comes in many categories. Here, hazard warnings. They're the best.
Next, some history. It's not clear why pioneers were relevant to Hokkaido butter.
Culinary, appropriately in Flench.
Here returns the common theme of animals eating themselves to advertize restaurants serving them.
Travel. Both of the Flenches may be victims of a bad translation from English.
My favourite Engrish is that which defies categorization, like flower language.
Or stalker notebooks. In fact, there was so much notebook Engrish that I skipped most of it.
The most common Engrish theme is a confusing combination of self-help and friendship. There is always light behind the clouds.
Hello Kitty, although a 43 year old British cat, apparently, still reverts to speaking in Engrish parables.
This message negates the nose shading message from the last entry, I think. So we need heart instead of beauty.
No, wait, not heart but happiness instead. No consistency.
Let's end with this Flench, which includes a lesson of regret.

Sunday, November 19, 2017

The land of glass creatures

We went to Otaru in Hokkaido, Japan, land of glass creatures. Here is the sky cats section.
Pigs in the bath section. Each one is slightly different, just like real pigs.
Sea creatures. Some of which inexplicably look like owls, which were in another section. I bought a glass beansprout. I haven't figured out it's use yet, but I'm pretty sure it will come in handy.
In the fish market in Hakodate, you can fish your own breakfast cuttlefish. This man splashed his girlfriend in the act, and then they ate the wiggly pieces together.
I tried on the accessories available.
This trip was also educational. This electricity pole was the first concrete one in Japan. Fascinating!
I learned that you can shade your nose to make it look narrower. My nose being narrow enough, I'm going to shade myself a few extra abs.
Barry learned that the giant asparagus face hole thing isn't well suited for selfies, and it would have been better if he'd waited for me.
The food was delicious and beautiful for fall, although Barry lost a lot of face, unfortunately, by screwing up our reservations. He will have to use the nose shading cream to recreate it.
The airport for Sapporo is not withouth its flaws.
The food poisoning menu was not available. The other menu didn't let me take away, but luckily I still found my way to the misplaced gate 68!

Sunday, November 5, 2017

Saigon Stroll

We went to Ho Chi Minh City's antiques street. The trumpet store man welcomed us.
There was a mystifying array of loot. Tiger teeth, anyone?
I just couldn't figure out which of these treasures to buy my family for Christmas.
There is no reason to expect that any of these war-era lighters are authentic.
Imagine the likely story of these undoubtedly fake dog tags. Sam, the heroic American tourist, buys them, researches the ancestors, and calls them. Presumably, he's the 47th person to do so, and the store keeps selling reprinted dog tags.
On the same street there is the blender repair place, something we've all needed before - perhaps there's only one globally.
Ho Chi Minh has developed a lot since we first went there. They have removed a lot of the tangled street power cables. Here, there is a fancy modern sky transformer.
Everyone wears motorcycle helmets, but I'm not sure they're well-built.
Luckily, they still have the basket bike.
And you can still get all the animal parts that you need from the market.
We chose ears. Crunchy.
Maybe some tripe and fat goo for next time.
There is still unidentified fruit, but I think this one might be dried tamarind.
Worried your wet suit doesn't protect your whiteness enough from the sun? Try the swim-hoodie, now available in all sizes! Now sold with a bonus side of toxic bleachy whitening cream, because nothing is worse than Vitamin D.

Friday, October 27, 2017

Ljubljana is pronounced Lee-ub-lee-ana, I think

In Slovenia, there are pretty castles and churches to remind you it's Europe.
After Iceland, I was relieved to be back in a civilized climate.
This is lake Bled. If it's not August, you can boat across it or hike around it. But if it's August, which is was for us, you get crowded out by German, Austrian, Italian and Dutch tourists.
So we went back to Ljubljana to enjoy the wine. They have orange wine, which, incredibly, is a secret new kind of wine tasting like no other! We were big fans.
We saw the secret Canadian society's emblem.
And the Door of Six Cardinal Heads, which I found funnier than I was supposed to. Why are only their heads 3D?
Ljubljana has great, inexpensive food.
I recommend the savoury beet ice cream with cheese.
But we didn't try what appears to be an imitation restaurant.