Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Mushrooms, Octopus, and Mentos

Mark had happy holidays in Singapore. You may wonder why he is hanging around the forest floor. Actually, it's a holiday mushroom tree! Happy fungal pine!
Despite the warm weather, I got good use out of my holiday octopus sweater.
Mark was less than overjoyed with his canned present, but wait until he tastes it!

We were very empathetic with our new Japanese oven mitt, who is sad inside. 
In our old age, we have developed weird travel habits. I packed baggies of healthy food like a granny.
And Barry, not finding sweetsgusting Starbucks mint coffee, made his own.
 
Immediately upon arriving in Canada, we filled up with lobster and smoked fish.
In rural Canada, we were sure to follow the redundantly explained rules.
Instead of snow, there was a storm of birds. Erie.
Eventually, though, Barry got to refresh his skills. 
Ottawa has a new outlet mall, ridiculously modelled after its southern counterparts, complete with outdoor metal seats and plugs, which were lovely in the -20C climes. 
I got a phone spy periscope and a label maker, so that I can put stickers on people who won't know I'm photographing them!
Barry got to try virtual reality, which makes his head look tiny.
In 2016, I'm going to try to sleep better, as well as to have better skin!
 

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Happy Engrish Holidays!

Pandadog and friends wish you a happy healthy holiday! Looking gift ideas? Treat your family to a day at the airhead spa, where they puff air into your brain!
Or get the gift that expresses your love for the family.
Perhaps some friendly Johnny Depp glasses (update, he's 52 now, who knew)?
For your friends who like seafood, maybe a hairtail?
Goosh jeans are all the rage if you have a very small behind.
They are best wrapped in the Gocci gift bag, which is insecure, as fauxture can be: its happiness depends on your love.
It's good to match Engrish gifts to the personalities of your friends. This one works for mine.
I haven't decided who to get the magic lamp ice cream for, but I feel bad that Softree has lots of worries.
 Don't forget Engrish for December birthdays! I wish them all the luck!
 This kettle hopes that your tea is reminiscent of the tableland, which I think means Saskatchewan.
This wrapping paper comes with mixed messages, to confuse people about love. We'll just continue to travel hopefully instead of arriving.
The lesson gift bag is available in "Wide, Rabbit", with the unicorns at no additional cost.
 
During the holidays, I hope that you can get out of boring every day matter!
And experience happiness forever, now with a plastic charm!

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Male and female chicken butts

Lately, we've just been hanging out, eating some soba noodles.
Scott tried to demonstrate noodle making viscoelasticity with silly putty. This made his hair and his feet appear larger somehow.
We celebrated Barry's birthday with some birthday burrata and lambrusco.
He got some special gifts from his own store, which has a whole aisle of floss. Pork and chicken floss. Toothsome!
Barry has also been e-biking. This is a biking fantasy world where you have to actually bike, and you don't get any special powers, fire, animal bikes or secret passages. Bikists lack imagination.
Since he's been mostly virtual, Barry gets excited and takes pictures of himself in the mirror when he goes out.
I, on the other hand, have been taught how better to appreciate yakitori (chicken bits on sticks). Like wine, you have to start with the mild chicken.
If you're fancy, you can observe the difference between male and female chicken butt, shown below.
Then comes the harder core stuff, which is accompanied by warnings for the gaijin. Chicken liver: female below and male on top. Tasty, strong!
Speaking of strong livers, I'm not sure mine is able to digest deep fried chicken skin, but I tasted it.
To accompany all of this, you have shochu with hoppy, my newly learnt drink. It is a low-calorie beer by-product and substitute. I was hoping this would give it secret healthful properties, but it seems its worthy benefit is to avoid excessive shochu drunkenness.
In any case Hiroshi and I do seem to have developed an unearthly glow.
Ideally, this should be done while gazing upon mount Fuji.
Meanwhile, through all of this, the passengers are still waiting for their flight to Shanghai. I love the use of honesty, and reflect on how many "indefinite" delays I've experienced in life.

Monday, December 7, 2015

Seoul Signs

I'm not sure what this means, but with the shopping in Seoul, your suitcase is likely to fill up like this. I had to buy each colour of these $1 milk socks, obviously!
The illionaire hat was too expensive, though.
Many tourists buy face masks. And other body part masks. They can fix all sorts of things, apparently.
Eerily, across from the Thinking About You store, was the About Me store.
Similarly, the small stuff store was next to the 8 minute store, both of which are prone to misinterpretation.
The street food offered delicious choices, including pork chaps.
This guy was The born to make noodles.
Xeno, on the other hand, is a video game which gets to invent new words.
But who needs to invent words when you can just adjust existing ones. I've been thinging, hopping and greeing all day!
 
I guess this bar didn't have a lot of space or letters for its name. I might have reversed them, maybe.