Friday, December 21, 2012

Santa and the Pests

Big news. We've finally answered the question of whether Santa enters homes in the tropics via the trash chute. Obviously not, as our condo is fumigating these on Christmas Eve. Horrors!
You have to tape it up so that your place isn't the one place the beasts take refuge. This is the one memo not to miss!
In other disturbing news, Kotex thinks its customers are stupid. Why yes, designs change everything, now I have monthly sparkle festivals of kittens and unicorns!
Given all of this, we've packed our bags and booked a reindeer outta here.
Luckily before leaving, I got my first Christmas present! Psalmstre Placenta Herbal Beauty soap (with natural placenta extract, animal not specified), and Be Nice Firm and White wash! Something to look forward to in the new year.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Happy Engrish Holidays!

Welcome to the annual celebration of Engrish Holidays!
The present above has enthusiastic Christmas teddies with forks. The one below reminds you about my upcoming birthday.
This is a repost, but as it says, "We are always the same".
Finally, a reminder about gift styles. 
I am all dressed up an ready to go! 
We are practicing eating dairy before our trip home.
The above cheese plate cost 14 times as much as the scissor-cut curry rice below. (It's the meat that's scissor cut, in truth).
Which has retro charm.
And you get to choose your sauces and your meats.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Dinner with Bono

Last weekend, Bono came to visit. He insisted on wearing his hat to cover his shaggy (and perhaps balding?) hair. Apparently Bono, who we call Huey, gets red eyes in the light, so insists on wearing shades all the time.
Bono likes special food served at high altitude, so we took him here.
Nowadays, there are certain things that high restaurants have to have. Two of these are foam, above, and unexpected jellies, below.
This is Barry's nut-free dessert, which I think might have been better than my nutaceous one.
The final thing that we need these days is dry ice. Really adds drama to your third dessert. Bono agrees.
After dinner, Barry put on a special performance of his "Call me Maybe" dance, with special Engrish outfit. Bono was mildly apathetic, as usual.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Sports Supports

Barry recently had a bike race in Bintan, our next door island. I too, participated in sport, the rugged endurance sport that is Cycle Spectatorship. The morning for us spectators starts early, waving the bikist goodbye, shown above.
For the early part of the day, the Cycle Spectator must amuse herself in an empty beach resort while the cyclists are on the other side of the island. I started with bike helmet photography, shown above. That didn't last long.
The second phase of this sport is a hot walk along the beach. I dodged the zillions of crab hazards there. To see if you're ready for such challenges, how many crabs can you spot in the picture below?
I then noticed, to my horror, the brains of less successful past cycle spectators, obviously fried in the mid-day heat.
Bravely, I carried on, avoiding the tentacles of the sea creepy crawlies.
I spent some time observing a sea anemone. Anemone watching is one of my favourite parts of Cycle Spectatorship.
Then, I prepared for the Race Spectatorship portion of the day. Here is what you need: SPF 130, cold water, sunglasses, and coke-flavoured mentos, which are an important source of electrolytes.
It can be hard, because there is a lot of spandex, some ripped, some even white. This guy is contemplating how his rear looks in the now-shameful Livestrong tight-wear.
A good Cycle Spectator like me arrives early, to take some very necessary practice shots.
The video of Barry finishing his 3rd race is here. As a Cycle Spectator, I have to accept the defacing of my work by slowing it down and adding rap music. At full speed, the risk I have taken in the name of photography by being so close to the bikists is more obvious.
At the end of the race, the Cycle Spectator has to ensure the survival of the Bikist. This involves large quantities of Indonesian food and fluids. There is also the endurance of co-Bikists making up ridiculous tales of "peloton strategies" and "fluid management". I learnt that peloton is a Bikist made-up word for crowded group of Bikists.
There are still challenges for the Cycle Spectator, like mosquitoes, and sneezes.