Thursday, May 17, 2012

Searching for Laura in Singapore 3

People find this place in strange ways. Here are the top 10 categories of search terms.

1. Cannibalism
cannibalism in singapore, singaporean cannibal, cannibalism sushi singapore (really?!), thai funeral cannibalism, canibalism langa singapore, singapore cannibal curry, delicious face - I get a lot of hits on this, which worries me. What are people looking for? I have searched too, and found little except some gross pictures. My thinking is that food's really cheap here, and people don't look delicious. I'm recommending that we stick to reading here.

2. People needing more schooling
plants that animals eat - um, most of'em.
why do eurasian eat - you realize they're real people, not statues or zombies. Oh wait, zombies eat brains, but you wouldn't have to worry about that.
how to plant four leaf clover - if someone sells you a four leaf clover plant, you've been had.
singapore to seoul by train - time to learn about the Kim family.

3. Things that terrify me
where can i donate my excess skin in singapore - Ack! Welcome to the world of ILLEGAL. And where did said skin come from?!
snorkel fire - a fire contained in a face mask, help!
puffball cryptid - I had one of these flying around my apartment once and I had to move.
michael bolton in your dreams - these are nightmares, you're confused.
michael bolton sweet - recurring, evidently.

4. Fruit Identification
fruit names in english, fruit singapore, fruits of singapore, what are fruits names
- There is an alarmingly large need for increased fruit knowledge. I need to help these people! There is a blog dedicated to your needs!

5. Awesome things
automatic shawarma machine - This is a brilliant idea, and I recommend patenting quickly. I assume I press a button and a shawarma sandwich pops out, maybe after a minute or so to heat the meat and bake the pita?
candy grabber singapore - great machine, something to have after the automatic shawarma I think.
antique flenching knife - Fun fact - Flenching means cutting up whale blubber, did you know? Not available on my blog, but can be purchased online.

6. The Turks
japon yemekleri, kore yemekleri, japonya yemekleri - Turkish dishes! The turks are looking for Japanese and Korean dishes, while I'm looking for some garlicky Lebanese food here in Singapore.
maymunlar - Turkish monkeys
nemo balıklar - Turkish for fish, suggests Disney's marketing in Turkey was sparse?

7. Areas where I can assist
man canoe suit - As a recognized Canadian, I recommend this.
health benefits of umeshu - I got excited thinking liqueur might be healthy, but no. Historically the Japanese thought ume fruit killed three kinds of poisons, poisons in food, water, and blood.
alex from france - You meant Glenn from Canada
cambodian monsters pictures - see Khmer Rouge.
salt and pepper to ward off evil spirits - nope, more or less for seasoning. Pay attention to your parents.
is it safe to live in little india singapore - compared to almost anywhere else in the world? yes. You may want to reconsider your prejudices, mind you.
is it worth trying out glass blowing in otaru - Yuhuh, and please blow me another blue sake glass, there was a sad accident.
is november/december a good time to visit singapore? - Welcome to the equator, where the weather never changes. So it matters none.
pongal panai timings - we've all struggled with this, but I have an easy reference for you! So go forth an boil milk!
8. True Blog Themes
strange canadian, strange canadian sightings, thanksgiving ate too much, intelligent issues, intellectual curiosity - These people have understood what my blog is really about. The get me.

9. Things that are wrong
the most popular whitning face scream in sigapo - again, all indications are that face whitening eats into your intelligence, and as above, this is blog covers intelligent issues!
eating pu - more hygiene and more school for you!
drowning a fish - anger management and science class for you!
ear cleaning spa singapore - I could give you advice, but you wouldn't hear it, and it turns out there actually are ear cleaning spas! Ew.

10. Potential future topics
learn about clams - why yes, I think that we should
where to buy mini trampoline in singapore - you know, I think I need one soon!
laura singaporessa nuuskamuikkunen - This might be my new favourite. It's a Swedish Snufkin! AND it's the character on these snacks! Thank you Google, now I must find out more.