Sunday, November 30, 2014

The Many Disturbing Faces of Santa

Warning: Some viewers may find the following images disturbing and will wonder whether I should leave the house more often.
Embracing society's love of low quality disposability, I bought some Christmas decorations online. When they arrived, the first thing I saw, above, was Santa suffering from appendicitis while flying in his sleigh. Poor Santa 2 couldn't help: he was born with a rare condition with no pupils, and was ready to haunt your dreams!
So, inspired by this, I decided to get crafty. Here is Santa decompos√©, where you'll notice already some strong eyebrows.
This can make it easy to assemble his face upside down. He looks like a baby macaque learning to use makeup.
Get help! Santa got hit by a car and isn't breathing! Oh those dead, glassy eyes.
Is Santa actually Vin Diesel?
Or is he actually a drunk Mr. Clean hanging out in Russia after having abandoned Aunt Jemima?