Sunday, May 3, 2009

Searching for Laura in Singapore

Google kindly informs me of search terms which lead people to this site. (Yes, Google is watching you, but you knew that.) While most are mundane, some inspire much fascination for me. Here are the top 10 searches for Laura in Singapore, deciphered:

1) "Laura and spandex", "Singapore spandex" and "spandex wearers" "spandex fest", "spandex in the rain", "spandex worship". Oh dear, I imagine stumbling upon my site disappoints these freaky horndogs.

2) Last month, my second most common search term was "Laura in sinapore" (sic). Guys, learn to type!

3) "decaying jackfruits", "tree climbing fish", and "how to chase away a monitor lizard". Guys, please spend more time on your obvious home hygiene problems and less time surfing the web!

4) "Japanese Laura bag", "hand wax figurine Singapore" and "fruit eater". Seriously, what are you looking for on the web? I'm pretty sure you're not going to find it here, or ever.

5) "Difference between Canada and Singapore". Really? You expected to find this summarized in a neat little paragraph on the web? The differences between a vast North American country and an Asian city state? Suggest you travel. I have the same answer for the numerous people who search for "does Singapore have snow".

6) "sea monster in USA". Um, I see your point. Clearly this is something I should cover on a later post.

7) "Any rabies cases in Singapore". As a qualified blogger, I can answer this one. No.

8) "elintarviketeknologia Laura Singapore". I thought this was typist's tourettes but it is Finnish for food technology. Like with sea monsters, Laura in Singapore will try to portray Finnish food technology in the future. You're welcome.

9) The medically curious search for "proctology Singapore", "tattoo camouflage kit" and "Singapore plastic surgery success stories". To the first two, I say, I hope you didn't find answers here. To the last, I say, nope, we're all natural on this site.

10) Finally, my favourite, is "waxing for man spa in Singapore". Given that Laura in Singapore supports manscaping, it is an embarrassing omission that I haven't helped these fuzzballs. The shame! Please go here and unencumber yourself!