Proctogod, Socks, Sludgeholes and Utah!

It was a grey day when we went to see Singapore's "Last Fishing Village". This is according to googlewrongs, since it's actually the just illegal fishing jetties. In the background, you can see the a refinery in Malaysia, a beautiful far away other country.So lovely. Anyway, then we went to see a sock.

Oh my gosh, a plane took off! Don't worry, it didn't go anywhere, it was a local little leisure/teachy plane.

But I got this WW2-ish picture!

Anyway, did you say airport? Barry and I went to check it out.

This is the former Seletar executive jet airport, which has been replaced by a newer terminal.

That's why we couldn't travel via the luggage cart. Mind your head, Barry.

There were some planes, and I tried to see if they were interesting. For example, this one is owned by a guy called Aviv. However, he just runs the jet company.

This one, with the single blowhole, comes from Utah.

I thought that could be interesting until I found out that most of the planes were from Salt Lake City. This means one of three likely possibilities: 1) I have no idea how to look up plane butt numbers, 2) there are a lot of private jet companies based in Utah, or 3) there are some wealthy mormons here. 

The saddest planes were the lost and lonely Aussie Virgin and Qantas ones, who can't go home to see their families because of the pandemic.

Seletar is so far away (17km!) that they have different vegetation. This is a Sterculia, native to Singapore, which has beautiful pods yielding a fruit once used as a thickener and a laxative, so that's handy.

Fun fact: it is named after the god of manure, given its odour. We did not detect the odour, and we guessed that this manure god preferred to be called the god of proctology, or Proctogod.

Also unusual and pentamorous, this flower shall be declared Seletar's tabernaemontana, as it is unlike the other tabernaes we see, or that I can biologicalookup.

Feeling like flying your aeromodels (that's what they had before drones) or learning to fly a cessna? Well you can join the Singapore Youth Flying club, as long as you're Singaporean and 16 years old. Hmm.

On the other end of the scale, here is Wah Son Engineering. You may think their building is a ruin.

But no, they just eschew paint in favour of black drainy sludgeholes. Proctogod approves.

And yet the local beauty distracts us. The bright blue butterfly pea flower requests that we admire its beauty and don't get distracted by how delicious it tastes in cocktails

We ended our walk with some swamp zen. There are apparently owls, but staring into trees still battles with my patience.

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Fauxtentious Cuisine and more

Feeling like you're stuck in a box? (Also, Moose says he likes Ikea). Worried that you got off at the wrong station (former outpost of Singapore's former railway to Malaysia)?

Failing to find nice places to swim (former military "pool" near Mt. Faber)?

We were too, so we went to the forest to find some new ideas.

Mostly, we found leaves.

But then we saw Jack tree and his fruit.

And the common passiflora (passion fruit flower) with its pleasing geometry, which gave us an idea for a new form of entertainment suitable to commemorate our friends' sad departure from Singapore.

Beautiful culinatious Michelinish home food such as this Batik roll. So pretty, and even better when served with a spiced dark cherry pickled coulis, right?

The idea is that you make/order standard yummy things, and then serve and garnish them pretentiously!

Naming dishes by their components sounds expensiver. Garnishing cheeseballs with gold flakes impresses your guests. It's important to finish the dishes live, with flakes, fires, foams, and fermentations.

These are my corn empanadas with home brined ketchup and microgreens, served on perilla leaf. It sounds better than "I made ketchup".

Chicken and waffles were the last appetizer before the potato bread with multiple home-flavoured butters.

Chargrilled vegetable medley with pickled lemons, superfluous tomatoes, pretentious garnish peas, and homemade kefir.

There were special effects and petit fours of course.

We were joined by our Level 1 ("I know what Riesling is now") sommelier Barry.

He got us the most tasty and entertaining wines from our favourite store, and explained things about them while wearing a flamingo shirt.

We made two mistakes. First, you have to take pictures of your friends enjoying the life-changing food, or it's not real on IG. Secondly, we had to see how the Batik Swiss roll cake was made. Very inelegant.

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Kranji Car Butts

Way up north near the Kranji marshes, where the crocodiles live,

And the Eichhornia crassipes, or common water hyacinth, invades and is battled with scooper boats,

There are many interesting things, guarded by fish-riders bringing gold.

This is the land of recycling. I was entertained for surprisingly long trying to say "Wah & Hua Resource Recovery Recycling Hub" clearly, and my English is quite acceptable.

We were briefly enthralled by giant piles of metal and rebar. This neighbourhood also houses many migrant workers dorms, like behind this banana tree.

Their local food places, when open, smell amazing, but I found a sign that their food may not be suitable for my exercise levels.

There are many intriguing sites in this neighbourhood.

But what we came for was this ordinary-looking car shop.

Here, you can buy many types of car: BMW, Jag, VW...But actually, no.

They're all car butts! I got my eyes on this Porsche butt, and am thinking of welding it onto a different car front, but this shop was only rear fractions. So I had to settle on a rusty axel and lion sculpture instead.

Turns out, it's surprisingly difficult to lean over a fence and take pictures of car buts while avoiding scrutiny. Many of my photos looked like, horrors, fully intact vehicles!

They don't seem to sell like hotcakes, and some had trees growing around them, but that can happen quickly here.

So if you get rear-ended, need a car butt, or just want something different to do, check out Kranji!

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