Saturday, May 28, 2022

Straya Foods

In Straya, we went to Pelican land.
Strayans think pelicans are boring, but they're actually really cool, and we saw one turn it's flappy beak-pouch inside out while preening.
The pelicans showed us the way to the oysters, fresh from the oyster farm. They were so good that we went back for more. There were escapee oysters all over the beach, which does not make for good swimming.
We tasted the wines, which is always a bit silly, since obviously they taste good, being wines. We also tasted the Ethiopian food. And by tasted, I mean ate it all before breathing, since we love it so.
In the land of Straya, there are no Quakers, so the oats were made by multiple uncles called Toby.
At first, I was concerned with this image of one of the Uncle Tobys, but I realized it was just his spouse helping him to sober up and pull himself together before marketing the oats.
Of course, you can eat the 'Roo, but it's gamey, so you don't really want to.
Then we explored the land of Strayan candy. The secret of the Caramilk is that it has an imposter! Clearly inferior to the real Caramilk. (Turns out there are actually 3 separate bars for 3 different countries, and that Cadbury is uncreative on names or cheap on trademarks.
Here are the more interesting local delicacies. Violet crumble is neither violet nor particularly crumbly. The Curlywurly is a half sized chocolate bar sold for the same price, the Chokito involves a suspicious amount of puffed rice, and the Caramello Koala is just what you give whiny children.
Looking for sexism and the glorification of the crime underworld in your candy? Try Big boss candy sticks. Minimal flavour and bad fashion.
The re-emergence of nerds is both surprising and delightful. Wait, that sounded sarcastic, yet I'm very serious about nerds. Delicious.

I'm less enthused about Wallaby poo bites.
And the worst candy in Strayaland was Yoghurty. Even the mascot isn't worried you'll want to eat these things.