You're Pinking and Smoothing Wrong

You've been doing it wrong. To get rid of the wrinkles, you need to roll them out from the inside!

The same applies to other body parts, especially the face, to which you apply the Hoppe Up Roll and the Flower Face Up Roll. For the legs, there is the Cell Crash Germaroller, the Legline roller and the Bounds roller, which you apply to your, well, I'm not sure. With all of this, you're sure to have smooty skin.

More bad news! You've also not been properly (de)forming your smile shape! I believe that these are spring loaded lip stretchers. If you want one, there's an even better one on Amazon with disturbing pictures here. And don't forget the cellulite squeezer for your butt!

Obviously if we don't squeeze ourselves enough we'll end up looking like Sirotan.

He's pretty cute, actually.

To round out the picture, here is some scalp pasta which has been tested for 100 years at a 9-year-old company.

Since he doesn't have cellulite to roll, Barry stuck to the slipper section, whispering to the plain.

You can also buy diary stickers so as to not strain yourself with pens.

Note that drinking occurs as often as the gym, whereas driving is rare.

I chose mashmallow cream and donut masks to give me a youthful glow.

Grand Finale! Mark has found out something important - these parts are supposed to be pink! This cream tells us so, and uses nanotechnology (sic.) to solve the issue if yours aren't "color soft".

Don't worry, I'm applying it to one of Barry's in his sleep in a single-blind experiment to see if the "nanomolecules" really do help penetrate effectively! I'll let you know if he achieves the desired pink.

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Finger Pressure Adjunstment Simultaneously with Animals

I have found that life is indeed full of porcine surprises. Look, here is one now, at the Hogs, um, drycleaners?

Here, the better-dressed pig, in underwear and a bowtie, has cannibalistic notions involving making pork pancakes out of his friend.

Speaking of pigs, here is an Animal Farm-inspired notebook. "Inspiration comes of working. Imagination is more important than knowledge. The purpose of human life is to serve and to show compassion and the will to help others. Creativity is the ability to introduce order into the randomness of nature. Life is an exciting business and most exciting when it's lived for others. You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about it's width and depth."

At first this was my new favourite Engrish and I've tried to get Barry to live his life more for making me dinner. However, I've just found that it's copied verbatim from someone's blog. In any case, remember to serve, and forget about eating healthy!

After than, I think I need to visit the dRink fair, and perhaps to have some Wow Bang Tempura downstairs from the FUu2 bar.

I'm not sure what Barry's doing in this picture: either being Roman or listening for the bread message.

In this picture, I'm drawing attention away from my poor sock selection towards "what really beautiful could be available for nothing".

I wonder what we can find in these woods.

Oh no, the animals have been hung out to dry after spending life too leisurely and loosely!

This post has been brought to you by the Distortion photo studio. Not unlike where I got my latest passport/visa pictures done. The guy photoshopped me to have a smoother complexion, larger eyes, and a smaller nose. Do I laugh or cry?

Anyway, after all of this, we need a massage. Sit on this chair and select the rub/crap or the finger pressure adjunstment simultaneously button.

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Broken Bunnys with Large Ribbons

Sometimes, Engrish comes along that makes you really wish you could pull off the mesh cap look. I mean, Bunnys! Back to the Future! This cap has it all.

Other mesh caps have deeper thoughts. So true, we're so broken at the places.

I wonder what else we can find in Whity Shopping Town. Perhaps another deep hat: "It has lived without changing just because it continues changing"! That's how "New style old desining" works.

I seem to remember some lilacs, but they weren't in "52 Altana".

It's ok, these ones are sports caps for Dancing and Performance Blowing. The latter sport is "going through changes".

The "Ferris wheel view (really do come the)" t-shirt was $60.

So we went discount shopping, where the best shirts can be found, Baby Doll!

Some of the messages were mixed, but this one ends well, what with all the hope, light and good parts.

When in doubt, remember that putting a big ribbon on BUNNYS BUNNYS can make them sad, and seems to change their name.

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Bibles and Big Bikes

Italy is filled with beautiful things.

Many of these things are very religious. We understood this part of the frescoed duomo ceiling the best.

Indeed, we endured lesser tortures to climb to the top, through cramped spaces, albeit with greater safety and guard rails than in medieval times.

We were pleased to find out that the Duomo in Florence seems to have been partially sponsored by a troupe of jellyfish!

Barry and I tried to appreciate other art, much of which we just found to be a) referencing a biblical story both unknown and irrelevant to us, and/or b) seeming to be gratuitously bustacious. I mean, I'm not against nudity or feeding babies, but with a 3 piece toga, slippage such as that shown below seems unlikely.

Barry preferred this one, which he believes shows unicorns in medieval times.

The famous statue of David is known for the crowds he attracts.

I found more interest in the squishy thing in his hand, which I learnt was the was his sling.

Surprisingly smooshy, no? Anyway, there is so much religion in Italy that the crypts are full and some special people got permanent street coffins in prime parking spots.

Nearby, Barry and I learnt about local wines. My favourite part was learning how bioorganic complexity of the humus interacts with minerals to affect the vines and wine quality. Barry's favourite part was petting the dog.

I told Barry that I would ride a bike with him only if I didn't have to steer.

I mainly let him do the pedalling, too.

Driving through crowds like this, clearly, was terrifying.

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Pisa Pushups and Sky socks

Pisa is certainly a very touristy place, where the awesome Italian food is hidden amongst more bland club sandwiches than you thought existed in Italy.

Under the surface, it seems there is some discontented discord. After "Socialism or death", it says "No to Communism".

But mostly, there is this:

While I'm not usually into crowds of tourists, but I found this to be a hilarious study of humanity. What did you do on vacation? I contributed to humanity by holding up a tower, see my picture!

There are many considerations when you take this picture. If you want to just look bored and lazy, then don't put your heart into it. But people will think that your wife plans your vacation and the rest of your life while you tune out - I mean you're in sunny Italy, isn't that worth straightening your back for?

Some people have clearly never held up anything heavy before. Can I hold your bag so that you put some hips into it?

See, now here is some enthusiasm. This guy really really wants to keep the tower up, and perhaps to climb it at the same time!

For a cuter picture, you need to stand straight and reach upward. Crossing the legs is flattering too.

If you get too close, you won't have anyone in the background, but you'll be dwarfed in your picture by a tower about to crush you.

Consider this. Almost everyone tries to hold up the tower? Why not push it down and get it over with? Is this some kind of faux altruism, or lack of original thought? Here's a woman pushing, although not very hard.

Then there are the teamworkers, whose photographers have to work harder.

These people are either hugging, or trying to transplant the tower. Original, but confusing.

Once you look at the Tower of Pisa for a while, everything else seems to look crooked too!

 

OMG! Stop everything! We have spotted a cyclist with Team Sky outfit including bike and socks! This means something!

OMG we had to look it up and it's Andrew Fenn who is an actual real cyclist who goes very quickly in France! This is apparently the most exciting thing in Pisa.

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