Barry the Neanderthal's Bad Times

Scary things have happened lately. Let's look at the data from Barry's heartputer sportsnerdthingy, which shows him hitting a barricade at 42.5km/hr, slowing him down rather suddenly.

I was watching the end of Barry's bike race, trying to distinguish the spandexers, when I heard the disturbing sound of ripping metal, as shown.

Here I am a few seconds later, with two doctors and an ambulance, tending to a mangled pavement Barry, to the side of the course, as captured by racetographers.

Here is a censored picture of Barry after he started moving again. If you hit yourself straight on the sternum, you can avoid puncturing your lungs, which is not the best thing to do in Indonesia. Barry did, however, lose a lot of his knee flesh. But don't think about that, just look at the kitten and puppy.

Then, more data came in, this time from Barry's genetic sequencing, which is a fun thing to do, if it doesn't get banned. It showed that Barry was a caveman who had lost a bet.

Yup, the 99th percentile Neanderthal man had to do this.

And then we went out to a restaurant. Good times!

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Happy Holiday Engrish

Let's start with a simple holiday greeting.

The gift bag above is optimistic, and seems be believe the sun will make you happy erery day.

My favourite wrapping paper this year combines retro beef bouillon ads with Backstreet Boys and Jennifer Lopez lyrics. If you think about that combination, it's very festive.

The children's' seasonal paper has vintage blimps on it so that you can explain the Hindenburg story over the holidays.

Some gift bags with high expectations. Happy feelings above, and dream reception below, both of which are a lot to ask of a gift.

Our final holiday bag involves spiritual growth. While this makes sense over the holiday season, I'm not sure if the gate is supposed to be for the living.

Speaking of seasons, they're magicians, and can last forever, at least here.

The season lady has this to say about dignity: "we want to tell what exists behind it I have only one wish I wish that you will grow up in good health" and "this grow it's not a present", which makes me wonder if this is a seasonal shirt after all.

When you feel worried about your dignity, it will help to look to the seaward.

For identity issues, use this shirt.

If you're lost, you can find yourself in these states.

On your way, perhaps get a massage from Mammy?

I do not recommend the Bald salon though.

We didn't think it was that bad.

Finally, this cute child with sideburns hosts superheroes who have been fighting for 47 years.

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Yokohama Yakitori and Okonomiyaki

There is lots to see in Yokohama, as our helpful friend (and accidental guide) Hiroshi showed us:

Here, he is seen explaining the important history of Cup Noodles, of which there have been a zillion kinds over the years.

We watched the inspirational video about how noodles stand for perseverance.

I demonstrated my gratitude and surprising height.

After learning the Noodle Story, we learned about chicken skin.

It is true, the original taste was many times of the pride. Many times.

Hiroshi showed us how to make post yakitori soup/porridge. Ameen's admiration is shown here.

We ventured forth into our own DIY cooking. Here, you can see the initial confusion.

However, some druft beer helped.

And the resulting okonomiyaki was beautiful.

Afterwards, Ana Laura even made her own mini personal version.

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The Kingdom of Bling

I haven't found the right words yet, but we went to the Kingdom of Shiny and Bling.

Strangely, Ameen felt right at home.

Barry, however...

I just kept my head down to make sure my feet were still there.

There were some animals on the walls.

And then the show started with some drums. As promised, there were also robots, starting with their legs.

There were animals.

Dinosaurs and savages, as you might expect.

The robots and the women did not have extensive outfits.

We decided to show this one our support during intermission.

Ana Laura and I liked the robot horse-dog. We've ordered a small one for home use.

Goodbye, strange shiny land!

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Tokyo Creatures

In Japan, there are many interesting creatures to see. I'm concerned about Bluedude's goiters.

Above, we have Floormop Sumurai and "Without your effort, American Overjoyed, you cannot hope for success".

The robot above appears to be advertising something. But the ones below are just warmongering!

As a chicken, you should be careful to not get your head stuck into another chicken's drumstick, I think.

It appears these characters like to dress up as other characters, Cosplay style.

The creatures below are Sexy Zone, apparently selected for their Michael Jackson-style sexiness. I do think, regrettably, that MJ might have found them sexy in the wrong way. Something to think about next time you're listening to "A my Girlfriend".

Ameen agrees.

So does Snidel.

We're not sure, though, what Super Mario thinks.

We also weren't sure how to manage the Maid café, where you eat cute food like this.

And have songs sung by companions like this.

But if you stare at this statue long enough, you'll figure it out.

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