This is my second post on the favourite search terms that bring people to this site.
1) "cannibalism thailand", "cannibalism in thailand", "singapore cannibalism", "thai funeral cannibalism". Really, I find Thai people very nice, and maybe some are hungry, but certainly not that hungry. I didn't even get bitten by any. Suggest you chill out and surf airfares instead of freaky crap.
2) "where to buy 3d glasses in singapore", "pirates eye patch sellers in singapore", "plastic imitation fruits, singapore". No no no, 3D glasses, eye patches and faux fruits are not what Laura in Singapore represents. Do not waste your money on these things. Please donate to charity instead. I suggest the WWF or the Bill Gates foundation, you can't go wrong.
3) "apple and custard soap", "custard cream soaps". Apparently there is a trend to have soap that resembles food. Laura in Singapore tries to separate grooming from eating but respects this representation of the power of pie.
4) "escort korean candy singapore". Now this person could not decide if they wanted a companion or candy.
5) "why do eurasian celebrate christmas", "portugese eurasian songs", "eurasian fashion clothing", "eurasian modern fashion", "eurasian tradition clothing". A future posting on Barry's Eurasian culture is forthcoming, now that I have recognised that this is an informational gap on the Internet. Let's start with some simple Eurasian pointers:
A) Eurasians are mixed Europeans and Asians. Hence, they may have some Christian heritage and celebrate Christmas. See how that works?
B) Shockingly, Eurasians wear the same clothing as other races. You can't detect them by their fashion, it's more of a physical thing.
C) Were there enough Portugese Eurasians for them to make their own songs? Do they have their own Portuguese Eurasian Karaoke bars? We'll try to answer these tough questions in future posts.
6) "which fruits white face", "botox for skinny face", "diet pocky singapore". Welcome to our section on vanity. Luckily, Laura in Singapore provides beauty advice as follows:
A) Whitening your face is freaky, and is a waste of fruit. Please study grammar instead.
B) Botox is to smooth your wrinkles, you can't use it to fatten your face. That's what food is for. I recommend Singaporean food, please see previous posts.
C) Sadly, diet pocky is a ridiculous concept. Instead, I recommend a side salad with your pocky. With more salad, and less pocky, the same calorific reduction is achieved! You're welcome.
7) "proctology pictures", Please tell me you're in proctologist school and this is for educational purposes.
8) "rocky malay bodybuilder in singapore". Well, if you search for this I am oddly the 4th choice. Thus, Laura in Singapore will have to cover such sports in future posts.
9) "
spectacaled bear food", I'm the first result due to having made the same spelling error. Luckily I am also an expert on the topic:
The spectacled bears
eat a wide variety of food, ranging from mice, rabbits, birds, berries, grasses and orchid bulbs all the way to their favorite food, the leaves, bases, and hearts of the Bromeliacae plant family. Many times, these animals will climb cacti to taste of the fruit at the top. Similarly, they will build nests in the tops of trees to use as a crude form of feeding platform as well as a sleeping place and day bed.
10) "august birthday threats singapore(2009)". Here's another one I can answer. The main birthday threats in august or any month are as follows:
1) Getting older. This is the biggest threat.
2) Being surprised by a surprise party. This can be a threat to your health and or dignity.
3) Getting presents you don't like. This threat is generally dwarfed by #1. Glad to help.
11) "spandex roofing" As a spandex cohabitator, I recommend a different material. While a spandex roof saves on trampoline costs, it is not waterproof. Also, it can mould, I have seen the proof. Thus, I suggest separate materials for your bike shorts and your roof.
12) "
singapore monster", "
how to chase lizard away". Well, I'm not going to lie to you, there are monsters here. While I've covered the lizard question in a previous post, here is the monster of the week:
Welcome to Qatar, where, due to a short day trip spent mostly in a car, I leave much to the imagination. I call these two: "Doha by plane".
This one: Downtown and Passing Palm.
This one, representing the most common view: "Desert via car window".
And finally: "Mirage".
There is little information online about what to do on your second trip to Myanmar. I'm here to change that; let me provide some ideas. Perhaps surfing the web:
Or enjoying some local beverages, like Quench, Star, or the economical Mandalay Rum.
You can take cruises up the Irrawaddy river to see dolphins, but I only got as close as this glowing-eyed representation.
Probably best to relax and watch the sunset, perhaps along with a Burmese wedding.
Korea is advertized regularly on our television, with the fairly abstract slogan of "Korea Sparkling". What could it mean? And, um, I don't mean to be rude, but, isn't sparkling hard for many Koreans to say?
Singapore has also chosen a relatively meaningless slogan.
As has Malaysia: I was looking for Asia, now I've found it!
Taiwan, also heavily advertized in Singapore, has tried a different approach: being cheap.
Thailand agrees with this approach, then builds on it. 
And yes, don't think you're above this, your country sells itself too.
The vegetable of the week is, well, this one. I did not succeed in identifying it or figuring out how to eat it, but it tasted like a raw zucchini.
The fruit of the week is the purple dragonfruit. This is one I know about: it's what happens when a kiwi, a watermelon, and a beet combine.
The flamboyant beer mascot of the week is Kirin, the fluffy lion/dragon monster. Did you know that Kirin beer, along with other Asian brews, have rice in them? Yes, Laura in Singapore is also educational.
The cute animal of the week is Cusstard, one of Singapore's adorable yet tough gutter kittens. We tried to feed him milk and he nearly attacked us. I guess he's more into chocolate and cigarettes.
The shocking exposé of the week is Heather, Alex and Barry engaging in violent sport! And liking it! Poor little plastic duckies.
Last weekend, Laura and Barry went Christmas shopping in Bangkok. We found some very good gift ideas:
And then Barry burnt his face out by trying to out-macho a minuscule hot pepper.
This Laura's first "failed state" visit, to Myanmar (Burma). Along with Utah and Long Island, this falls into the category of "Places I may not have seen if work hadn't sent me". Anyway, this is the Shwedagon Pagoda, where all things glitter.
This is the hundred meter stupa, surrounded by all kinds of Buddhas. Below, some examples sporting the latest fashions.
This is the shiniest Buddha.
This picture shows some of Buddha's lesser known deity friends, who provide support.
Families, couples, everyone hangs out here.
This child demonstrates the proper praying position.
These people sport the recommended outfit.
So, next time you're in Yangon, don't miss the Shwedagon.
Last weekend, Singapore's downtown streets were replaced with a glowing race track.
Inside the track, flat pointy cars drive around really fast a lot of times. They are kept inside a cage so they don't escape. For entertainment, I became a moderate fan of Timo Glock, who surprisingly came in third (this may be him):
When the cars go rogue and crash, the disciplinary car comes out to shame them. Below is what the spectator sees.
Here I am demonstrating my moderate enjoyment, as well as the view that $100 tickets get you.
You can get a better view by wearing a special uniform and keeping your hands above your head, but we did not know this in advance.
And here is Barbican, non-alcoholic malt beverage, for those who were looking for carb calories emptier than beer's. Available in a mini-bar in your favourite middle eastern hotel.
Now that you believe me, I'll tell you about some other features of Dubai, Middle East for beginners. First, it has all the stores in the world in it, in huge malls to shelter you from reality:
And many tall shiny buildings, which are unfortunately not all completed.
Here are some Canadian things you can find in Dubai: 4 different Canadian coffee chains, maple syrup by the litre, and even the lesser known desert Zamboni: